Elusive. That’s what solitude can be.
We all need some solitude. Per psychologists solitude is a state of being alone without being lonely and is important for us to be able to explore our inner workings
What exactly constitutes being in solitude, though, probably differs for each of us. And getting people to understand we need solitude may be an even trickier topic and one for another day.
For some people solitude is exactly what it sounds like. A long walk in the woods. Sitting on the edge of a lake. Lounging in front of the fireplace. These are the more romantic notions. Sometimes it is simply being alone at home.
For me solitude is not being bothered. Not being bothered does not always require isolation but that’s good sometimes.
Sometimes solitude is being alone in a crowd. Like when I was at the art museum the other day. Lots of people were browsing about, but I was undisturbed, alone with my thoughts or the few that I was having anyway. Sometimes I looked at art.
Or when I was at the coffee shop today. Just sitting. Not being bothered. Had a book with me. Wasn’t reading it.
The not being bothered for me is key. When I am alone in a crowd, people bothering me is not an issue. I am pretty sure I have that “Don’t bother me” aura all over me. The key is to not bother myself, which of course means no gadgets.
Background noise is OK. But no listening to music of my choosing. Just trying to be in the moment. Oh, and no TV either.
So then I can just think or ponder or self-reflect (though the self-reflect part doesn’t happen very often, though I suppose maybe it should). It’s not meditation. That’s different. This is just being solitary.
In this go go go world we probably need solitude more than ever and it is increasingly designed not to allow that.
You have to work for it. You have to choose it. Strangely enough you have to seek it out.
So be vewy quiet. The solitude is out there.