I told someone I wasn’t showering so I could build up my pheromones. You know, pheromones, that odorless substance that your body purportedly emits in order to trigger responses in potential sexual partners.
I was told I was confusing becoming feral with pheromone retention.
Maybe, maybe not. I figured it was worth a shot since I couldn’t afford the $100 for the bottle of pheromone additives I found on the Internet.
Yes, you can buy pheromone additives for colognes or perfumes to enhance your attractiveness to potential sexual partners.
I can’t believe I don’t get e-mail spam for this stuff. Seems perfect for that. I mean, really, it’s way more important than all those Viagra e-mails. What good is Viagra if you can’t attract anyone?
The better solution would be to market them together. They’re a natural pairing. Like bait and tackle. You need worms AND hooks, people. That’s how it works.
For now though I‘ll have to settle for what effects can be procured by being one of the unwashed masses.
Fortress of Dissolitude 
But will the women be able to smell the pheromones through your body odor from weeks without a shower?
Good question, Brantley. We’ll have to do some field testing. Maybe some after-encounter surveys by an objective third party.