The fly got the best of me. I hate to admit that. I mean, it’s just a fly. Small creature with a brief life. No excessive cunning or evil plan does it have. Just flying and buzzing. And flying and buzzing. AND FLYING AND BUZZING.
Stop it! Please. Or I will have to result to violence. I’m a passive person by nature so I decidedly don’t like doing that. Don’t make me go there. I’ll feel horrible if I have to go there.
I’ve tried chasing you out the window. I’ve tried chasing you out the door. But, nooooo. You don’t want to go outside into the fresh air and world of ample food. It’s nice out. Go out and play. It’s not even air conditioned in here. It’s hot and muggy.
Granted, the hot and muggy conditions may have contributed to my hasty decision to forego passivism. And the buzzing and erratic flying. Why are you so angry? What do you want? Your angry attitude isn’t helping. Are you hungry? Do you need me to put some food out?
You do not want me to put food out for you to land on. That will not end well. Because if you stop for a second I will be so tempted to bring down the hammer.
This buzzing by the sink while I’m trying to do dishes isn’t working. The dish water is hot. I’m sweating even more. Stay away from my fricking head. There’s no food on my head. Or my ears. Or my elbow.
You landed. You shouldn’t have done that. Right in front of me. That’s it. The hand of doom is coming.
Direct hit. You are so done. Aw shit. Was that glass shattering? Damn. Glass shards everywhere. On the counter. In the full sink. Oh, I liked that glass.
OK fly. Where are you? No way you survived that. Well here we are. Either you’re stunned or dead. Doesn’t matter. Outside you go. You can either find food or become food. That’s on your shoulders now.
Now back to those glass shards.