Naked Productivity


I once told a boss that the less clothing I wear the more productive I am. The statement was a reaction against a very formal dress code and uttered when bizarrely enough the company instituted a casual day that allowed shorts on Fridays during the summer.

I’ve never really put my belief to the ultimate test. I’ve worn shorts and t-shirt and when working at home I have perhaps worked without shoes and socks. But that’s as far as I’ve gone. I suppose I’ve worked in the yard without a shirt but that’s not what I meant.  When I was down on the commune I did see some folks mowing the lawn in the nude. I applauded the liberation but was a bit nervous about flying debris.

So imagine me sitting here naked being uber productive. I can sense a little jealousy. That’s understandable. You can envision yourself naked if that helps.

But the point here is not that I’m naked but that I’m being productive and efficient. Finding that optimal environment for the best work. Being unclothed may not be yours. It may be having a beer or being in a bar or lots of caffeine or your pets at your feet. Our environment is so important and yet so many of our working environments are just the opposite. Stifling, restrictive, marginalizing and all other manner of bad words.

We need to take back our work places. Bring your dogs, your beer, your scrap booking, leave your clothes at home. Whatever it takes. That is initiative people.

Then we need to take this spirit of productivity to our government. If the government agencies were just a little more efficient they could do more with less. More with less. Hmm. There’s a novel concept. Might even avoid shutdowns and the like.

Imagine mail delivered by your nude mail carrier. If it’s more efficient, hell yes. Or the mail carrier with their friendly dog. Right on.

Imagine the IRS auditor having a beer before an audit. Much friendlier audit, I am sure. If it’s more efficient, hell yes.

Nude analysts at the NSA trolling your personal text messages. How much more personal does it get. And imagine the efficiencies of the liberated worker.

OK now, I want you all to find liberation in your work environment. You can do it!

About joegergen

To evoke a smile. That's all. Author of "Methane Wars: A Fable" and "Lear's Fool" as well as various poems and some these painting things as well.
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