Lighter Musings on a Dangerous Day

ladder1Do not Climb Backside
That’s what the ladder said
Fair warning, I suppose
Though even with the longest toes
I could not have reached the first rung.

Everything has a warning now days
Dangerous things like chain saws
Or innocuous things like boxes.

Soon our smart phones will warn us
In the morning that getting out of bed
May place us in harm’s way.

Based on our overly scheduled lives our
Phones will deliver a laundry list of things
That may pose danger during the day.

Our phones will beep and blurp at us
Blaring as impending dangers arise.
As I approach the mail box: “Warning
The mail box may contain spiders or rats or
Poisonous materials. Open with caution. In fact
It would be best if you were wearing gloves to
Fetch your mail.”

“Yogurt contains active bacteria cultures. If
Poorly refrigerated during handling
Cultures may have run rampant. Use caution
When opening your yogurt. In fact you should
Use the built in sensor on your phone to detect
Unsanctioned bacteria. A red flash will indicate
You should not eat the yogurt. In fact, maybe
You shouldn’t eat yogurt at all. Please be careful.”

Warning: Your shoe may come untied.
Warning: Cracks in sidewalks can be hazardous.
Warning: Vapors from sewers may contain noxious gases.

Warning, warning, warning. Life is dangerous.
Thanks Smartphone for keeping me safe.

About joegergen

To evoke a smile. That's all. Author of "Methane Wars: A Fable" and "Lear's Fool" as well as various poems and some these painting things as well.
This entry was posted in Entertainment, poetry and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Lighter Musings on a Dangerous Day

  1. Excited to discover your writing this morning. I guess you and I are not the only ones noticing how many warnings we are bombarded with these days, but why is anyone paying attention to fear mongering? Which warnings are actually helpful?

    • joegergen says:

      Thanks for stopping by,Julie. I think they all become a sea of white noise. If you pay attention to them all you’ll become paralyzed or neurotic. If you tune it out, it all becomes useless.

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