Searching for Awareness in My Lack of Knowledge

editor1I have an English Degree. I was the editor and assistant editor at my university newspaper. I have taken several graduate level courses in editing.

And years later, I am still a horrible editor. My pedigree would indicate I be a good or at least competent editor. I am not. I can’t spell. My grammar is shoddy at best. I struggle with basic conjugations. I’m often oblivious to changes in tense. My punctuation knowledge is flawed. And though I pride myself on knowing how to use a colon and semi-colon, I just tend to avoid constructions I can’t figure out.

And yet if I gave you my resume you might have reason to believe I could edit. You would be deceived.

Sure there are plenty of things I learned in school that I don’t recall, but I don’t expect to remember subjects I don’t work in. You just don’t retain information if you never use it. But I write and read a lot. You think some of that editing knowledge would have stuck. It did not.

The real problem is I think all this editing knowledge and exposure never really sunk in the first time. I went through the motions but just didn’t get it. I could see but was not aware. Now I wonder how much of my education and skills are in the same boat? How much do I think that I know that I do not? Oh please do not answer that.

So you think I might be jaded about education. I’m not. Education is important. You might think I’d decide to stop pursuing this knowledge thing knowing I don’t retain it. I have not stopped even though I know the more that I know the more I know I don’t know. Knowledge is a vicious fleeting thing.

So maybe it’s not really knowledge I’m pursuing. Because if I was it would be depressing to watch the knowledge slip so easily out of my hands. I won’t let it be that.

No. It’s not about knowledge. It’s about awareness. At least that’s what I am going to tell myself. What good is all sorts of knowledge if one is not aware? Knowledge is good for courts of law, where technicalities and logic reign. But life isn’t a court of law, is it?

Life is how you perceive it. And to perceive it you must be aware. So my goal for today is to take time to notice something. Perhaps it is like stopping and smelling the roses. Except you don’t stop to smell roses but something you hadn’t thought to smell before.

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About joegergen

To evoke a smile. That's all. Author of "Methane Wars: A Fable" and "Lear's Fool" as well as various poems and some these painting things as well.
This entry was posted in Entertainment, Personality and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Searching for Awareness in My Lack of Knowledge

  1. mikesteeden says:

    You know after so many years and, like you, with a bucket load of qualifications I still struggle with spelling to the extent the wife has to even proof me writing an address on an envelope. A fine reflective post you’ve written here.

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