Cricket Graveyard (with apologies to Jiminy Cricket)

Posted on September 30, 2013 by joegergen

cricket2

There is no escape. That’s what the crickets have found out.

Yes, there is a cricket graveyard on my basement steps’ landing. The crickets who have invaded my basement have apparently found no way to navigate the steps to freedom, apparently having no memory of how they got in.

Of course this lack of memory affects me all the time when I ask (along with David Byrne): “How did I get here?” Many have asked that question, haven’t we?

Yes, that mass of confusing decision trees I encountered in a rambling haze from wherever I was to wherever I am now. The right now. You too?

And like the cricket, many of us are wondering how to get out. The thing the cricket has though that we don’t is that it really doesn’t have any idea of how it got there and so it can only ask “How do I get out?

Whereas we are burdened by being able to ask “How did I get here?” It’s strange that I usually ask that question when I am some place I don’t want to be. Rarely do we ask ourselves that when we are in a good place, except in the movies.

It would be better if we forgot (not really but for the sake of argument) how we got here?

Why? Because with those pesky memories hanging out we find it way too easy to look back at them when what we should be doing is looking up and out.

Be the cricket. No wait, I mean be the cricket who succeeds. Wait, that’s not good advice at all. All the crickets die. Unless they are Schrodinger’s Crickets and as far as I know some of them survived.

Do not be the cricket. Just ask what the cricket asks “How do I get out of here?”

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In Ghost Peppers We Do not Trust

Posted on September 27, 2013 by joegergen

ghost pepper 2

I have a thriving ghost pepper plant in the garden. No false advertising here. These peppers look evil.

Why am I even growing these? I don’t even like hot food. I’m an admitted wuss when it comes to that.

But I am not embarrassed by this. I’m not intimidated by macho guys who eat these things.

I am not cowed by this because I know why I don’t like hot food. Sensitivity. I don’t mean the boo-hoo kind of sensitivity. I mean the level of awareness to sensory activity. It’s a trait.

This trait is sometimes referred to as hypersensitivity or maybe more understandably HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). It’s a trait in the way OCD and ADHD are traits. It just is.

One of the conditions is described like this:

–High level of sensitivity to physical (via sound, sigh, touch, or smell) and or emotional stimuli

So no ghost peppers for me. Or loud noises. Or any noises for that matter. Startle the shit out of me. You know the whole princess and the pea thing (http://childhoodreading.com/?p=5).

But why is this important? Mostly because if you have this trait being aware may help you understand why you react the way you do to certain things. Kind of like knowing if you are introverted. You don’t have to feel weird about it (I mean, you might be weird anyway, but this shouldn’t be cause to feel that way).

And it’s important for others to you know you are this way. They may better understand you, I mean assuming that is what you would like.

I’ve embraced HSP along with my introversion. There are a lot of advantages to it. There are disadvantages as well, but I just try to avoid those situations.

So I am not eating any of that damned hot food. So get over it. But if this rings a bell for you, you are not alone.

Anyway, here is a link to information on HSP from the go-to person in the field. Lots of resources once you start digging.

http://www.hsperson.com/

Apparently why I am growing ghost peppers is another story.

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To Rant or not to Rant

Posted on September 26, 2013 by joegergen

scream

The Rant

It feels good to rant sometimes. My own rants tend to contain some really good arguing points almost entirely drowned out by swear words. I like to think of Denis Leary as my role model when I do this.

But it feels good. At least at the moment.

I usually keep my rants to myself. When I do let out it is usually to a sympathetic party or in some cases to innocent bystanders who have nothing at stake in the rant. So usually no one gets hurt.

What I am curious about is whether the Rant is effective if actually aimed at the offending party.

I ping pong back and forth between being Zen and not putting up with bad behavior.

I mean with bullying they say standing up to them is the only way to stop their bullying. I’m stuck between people won’t change if you don’t “help” them and people just don’t want or like to change and the effort is wasted.

What I usually see people do is become defensive and entrenched when ranted at, and understandably so. I always wonder if your rant can be so powerful and effective that it crushes these defenses and actually gets to the other person. Wishful thinking perhaps.

My favorite place I want to rant is while driving. The amount of self-absorbed, aggressive behavior people have while they are in their cars is astounding. I don’t mean I want to engage in road rage. I mean I want to rant at someone for being a self-absorbed, needlessly aggressive road-rager.

Here’s an awesome Idaho PSA about aggressive driving.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXbmHEhc2yQ

The best is that these aggressive drivers think they are impregnable in their cars.  I will tell you, though I am not recommending this, that all that bravado slips away if you actually get out of your car and approach them. Except for anger management failures. Stay away from them.

Maybe rants are most useful as those scathing letters/e-mails you never send. Blow the steam off.

But who knows, one day I may let someone have it.

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Tapioca is Weird Shit

Posted on September 25, 2013 by joegergen

tapioca

I made some tapioca today. Some big pearled stuff. It’s like pudding but it’s got components. So do you just swallow it right up or do you chew? I didn’t know. My senses were confused.

So there I was,  just sitting there with a mouthful not sure what to do. I decided to chew it. But it’s elusive stuff. So I kind of chewed the slippery pearls and then swallowed. Fortunately the tactile confusion did not diminish the nummy creamy, vanilla  flavor.

It was a good experience. It was new. I was offered a choice by my brain in which I had to intentionally pick an option. That doesn’t happen very often while performing a completely habitual behavior. So I thought was kind of nice.

I need more of these interactions in the rest of my life that has become almost entirely habitual. Break up the routine a bit.

I’m not talking cliff-diving, adrenalin-junky-out-of-your-comfort-zone crap. I mean little things. Little surprises.

How do you do that? Obviously one way is to eat big-pearled tapioca for the first time. Very exciting.

I suppose I could read a genre of book I never have. Not sure what that would be. Maybe some paranormal teen romance. Well, or maybe something like that.

I could try writing left-handed. Probably learn that I write more legibly that way (couldn’t write less legibly).

Oh hey, I did re-learn to tie my shoes about a year ago. That was pretty cool. Now my shoes stay tied. The thrill has kind of worn off on that on though.

I could get out of bed on the other side of the bed. See if that whole wrong-side thing has any merit.

Hmm, I’ll have to ponder that. But first another bowl of tapioca.

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The Threat of a Deal

Posted on September 23, 2013 by joegergen

octo 2

I saw a Halloween promo sign at Walgreens the other day (yes, I was at Walgreens) that I thought said “A Threat of a Deal” though it appears it actually said “A Treat of a Deal.”

The Threat of a Deal. One dictionary defined threat as “a person or thing likely to cause damage or danger.”

Buy this or else would seem to be the message. This would go along with the trick or treat motif. Seems sinister and coercive. Perfect.

But how much marketing isn’t coercive. It’s certainly shame based, and I would go so far as to say fear based.

We’re all suckers for fear, aren’t we? We eat it up. You see it everywhere.

Fear-based decision making in the work place. Sucks to be a part of that.  And no matter how many times we call it out, it keeps happening. If you’re not sure what to do always go with the risk-averse, fear based approach. People will at least be familiar with it.

Fear of not keeping up with the Joneses. Nothing new here but I think we often associate keeping up with the Joneses with big ticket items. But it’s not just big tickets. It’s the cell phone you need, the coffee you drink, the foods you it.

Fear of association. Fear of not being associated with the latest craze or being out of the loop. Fear of being associated with the latest craze or being too in the loop.

Well, it’s time to take that threat of a deal and shove it.  Say no to fear-based decision making.

But it’s hard, I know. Those marketers are tricksy people. Always sneaking fear into their positive sounding pitches. Buy this and you won’t have to be afraid.

It’s almost as if you have to tune it all out or find a way to avoid exposure to the insidious messages.

Then maybe you can focus on what you want or at least figuring out what that is. You have to remove all that noise. It’s like you need anti-marketing meditation.

Om.

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Obsessed with obsessions

Posted on September 19, 2013 by joegergen

order 1a

This world is not for the mediocre. The average. The healthy. The normal.

We’re obsessed with over achievers, adrenalin junkies, insane perfectionists.

My favorite one is obsession with technical perfection in the arts. Virtuosos, technical wizards, blemish free anything.

I always thought art was about communicating emotions and ideas. Commentary on life, the universe and everything. Which is far from perfect. I always preached that perfection is not an artistic goal. No one is listening to me.

I went to an international piano competition once. Seriously some of the best up and coming pianists in the world. Pyrotechnical wizardry beyond my comprehension. The art was apparently beyond my comprehension as well. Because if it was conveying an emotion I was supposed to pick up on I totally missed it. Cold, technical, perfect. It was like I was looking at a superbly machined steel cog. And about as heart-warming. What ever happened to soul?

We’re even obsessed with people who are obsessed. The bad kind of obsession. Crippling OCD. A&E has a show called “Obsessed.” I tried to watch an episode. It was horrible. I couldn’t finish it. The suffering and heartache of the individuals and families was brutal. I have no idea what I was supposed to take from the public airing of that. Awareness of the horrible condition I suppose. But a whole series devoted to that. What’s wrong with us?

And am I now obsessed by people who are obsessed with obsessive behavior? Get out of my head! Ack!

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Bot Jesus

Posted on September 11, 2013 by joegergen

Just saw a billboard that I thought read “Bot Jesus. Miracles can happen.” I think it actually said “Got Jesus?” when I look closer, but no matter.

I am thinking “Nanobot Jesus” is way more intriguing prospect. Nanobots introduced into your body to alter the appropriate nerve receptors to help you better accept a particular belief system. In this case Jesus. Bot Jesus?

But belief systems are not just religious but political, social, cultural, etc. They are everywhere.

So these aren’t just Jesus bots or religious bots. These are thought bots.

If Jesus bots make you nervous, they should. But thoughts bots are useful.  But bots cost money. Who has money? Large corporations, governments, political machines, religions. That makes me nervous.

The Bot Thought War is on. The war to control your thoughts.  Bots introduced in the soda you just drank. In the government water supply. In the air in the mall. In your school. Everywhere. Anywhere.

What are they all controlling? Your political beliefs, your consumer thoughts, your religious beliefs, anything you might think.

But if there are thought bots, then inevitably there will be aggressive bots designed to take out competing bots. Then other bots will need to protect themselves. So armies of bots waging war. Alliances will form, easy and uneasy.  Mutations and chaos.

All raging inside you. Your thoughts will spiral and spurt and sputter. We will all go mad.

So we will develop Botidotes to kill all the other bots. But like viruses they will come back stronger.

We can only hope our brains evolve fast enough to make the chaos seem normal.

Got Bots?

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Risk is good

Posted on September 10, 2013 by joegergen

As Gordon Gekko might say, Risk is good.

I tried to pen some gibberish about risk being good. Like greed is good. I got nowhere. All I kept thinking was “Duh!”

I think taking risk is good. But ultimately the only thing I had to say about it was “Take risks.” Well now, that’s fucking genius.

Maybe it’s more about why. That whole risk/reward dynamic. But that’s another “Duh!”

Maybe it’s that nothing changes if you don’t take risk. Maybe it’s the idea that failure is bad. All that clichéd crap.

I guess I just want to agitate people. I want you to do something different. Reach, breach, rebel.

Rebel in little ways, in big ways. Do it. It feels good. Just say no to bad shit, to mundane shit. Say yes to good shit, to the thrill of divergence.

What will happen if you rebel? I have no idea. Really, I don’t. That’s the whole point. Perhaps nothing.

But possibly the unexpected will happen. The new. The awesome. Do it!

Ah, now that felt good to say. Risk is good.

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Because We’re Adults

Posted on September 6, 2013 by joegergen

One of my favorite quotable movies is “The Ref” with Denis Leary, Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis.  Filled with great lines.

One exchange goes like this on X-mas eve (Denis Leary is Gus and it helps to envision him saying the lines):

Connie: We can’t open presents until midnight.
Gus: Why not?
Connie: Because it’s not Christmas until midnight.
Gus: Well, guess what? We’re changing the rules a little bit, okay? We’re going to open the presents now, not later, now. Why? Because we’re adults and we can open the presents whenever we want!

The scene is funny but it shines because the line “we’re adults and we can open the presents whenever we want” is so applicable, with slight modifications, to so many situations.

It’s mostly useful when doing things that family, friends (just mistyped friends as fiends, though often they are probably not distinguishable), or even society might judge you on.

And there are SO many people who have opinions on how you should behave. What kind of diet you should have. How and how much you work out. What products to buy and not buy. What should offend you. What should not offend you. Gads, it’s overwhelming.

So when the Red God of Rules and Judging rears its head we say, not today. In fact we say, “We’re adults and were going to do whatever we want.”

Should I eat that ice cream before dinner? Hell yeah. I’m an adult and I can eat ice cream whenever I want to.

Now this is a slippery slope (I am beginning to wonder which slopes aren’t slippery).You can easily start to apply this to things you want to avoid that you actually do want to do. Just not today.

Should I go work out? Hell no. I’m an adult and I can work out when I want to. And I don’t want to.

Of course, it has other uses as well. It has wonderful affects around rule followers and controllers. If only as devil’s advocate question the order of some proposed activity. “Why don’t we do this first instead? I mean. We’re adults and we can do it in any order we want.”

You know, I think I really love this quote because it annoys rule followers.  That is such an enjoyable activity I think I should pursue it more robustly. So to finish it off proper then I will end this sentence with a preposition because someone needs to.

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God is in the Details

Posted on September 4, 2013 by joegergen

But I am not God so details can be very trying. I am not good with details. Anyone who really knows me knows this is true.

My favorite story about not being detail oriented was at work where a young project manager trying to make a name decided to pin me as the detail-oriented one. I didn’t take it personal since I was pretty sure she was trying to paint herself as the young up-and-coming strategic person.

Of course it also meant she wasn’t paying attention to the people around her and I think she latched onto me because she confused detail oriented with paying attention.

Not that details aren’t important. When I do find them useful I usually find them useful in the moment. What details do I need to know right NOW! Details that MAY be of importance in the future just clog up my cognition.

Maybe it’s how we view details that gets me in trouble when I say I have no use for them. Perhaps it’s more of a concern with accuracy, or very little concern with accuracy to be less delicate. I always manage to confuse accuracy and precision but in this case I believe I am fairly accurate in saying that is this is about accuracy.

You see I have an inherent weakness in the desire to approximate everything (This was very evident in my arithmetic career).

I remember an example with my good friend Richard where we were counting something up and I said “There’s about four left.” He said, “There’s no about. There’s four left.” And yes indeed there were four left, which was very clear and even strongly in the range of my ability to count. So even in the presence of very simple and clear evidence, I felt the need to approximate.

Or perhaps it wasn’t a need to approximate but a fear to commit to a known fact or number or other piece of datum. Hmm, that could open up a whole new discussion about commitment phobias. And is there really a difference between an irrational fear to commit and an irrational need to commit.

But nonetheless I stand by my behavior. I mean, after all, how often do we really know exactly. And even more so how often do we really need to know exactly. As my coworker Lee is fond of saying “We have a desire for accuracy and precision beyond our ability to measure and beyond our ability to make useful.”

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